Lets face it, we all have good days and bad. On a good days I can let go of that little dig from my sister in law about how tight my jeans are getting and recognise that it’s probably her…

I’ve often been involved in trying to help people sort out issues where there is gossip involved. A few thoughts have come to me about work cultures where gossip has come to thrive. An appropriate metaphor is gossip as a…

Its often the case that we consider the conflict we are having with a person to be something to do with them individually. In keeping with the problem solving approach, its worth considering how the environment and conditions we live…

The conflicts we have with the people we live and work with often start very small – a little misunderstanding over who was supposed to do what, some discomfort over an awkward conversation. These germs can lead to a full…

This is something I often point out to the people I work with. Its hard not to get caught up in blaming the other person for the problem – they might be an ex lover or business partner. We know…

Last week I was writing about what a big difference it makes to choose words carefully if dealing with someone you disagree with. Resolving a dispute with someone may require you to move from seeing yourself as their adversary to…

I often hear people in conflict describing their situation with the other side in very black and white terms. Either they win or I do. Consider examples from disputes about natural resources – either we protect the environment or we…

Most people will say that of course there are limits to who we can forgive. Kenneth Cloke(Mediating Dangerously, p 96-8) asks us to consider Hitler, as a challenge to our ability to forgive. While Hitler is an example of someone…

While mediators may consider fostering forgiveness to be beyond the terms of their engagement with parties, Kenneth Cloke, in Mediating Dangerously, suggests that moving parties towards forgiveness can free them from anger, resentment, suppression or feeling victimized, all of which…

When things get tense between people mediation services come into play to put out a potential fire between them. In the course of my work, I also get the opportunity to work with individuals in developing their communication capacity so…